I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
