She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
