Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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