Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
