I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
