He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
