whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize