how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
