I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Say something about gay babies.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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