you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
