Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
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