Christians are straight up FREAKS
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
