Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I need mimosas to revive my soul
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize