I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
We were destined to go to rehab together
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
