...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
i drank out of a bidet.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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