NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
you didnt know i had herpes?
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Randomize
