Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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