GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Randomize
