The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
