He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
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