Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
