Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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