Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I could make wine with my vomit
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize
