I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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