I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
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