Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize