i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
BRING THE BAGELS
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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