They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
