the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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