So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
