is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
