I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
