WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
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