OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Randomize
