The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Randomize
