Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
