Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
a search helicopter?!
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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