I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
