So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
