clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
