ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
