I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
