Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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