he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
