Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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