Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I am available for nakedness
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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