OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
