I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
