Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
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