he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
