Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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