On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
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