its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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