i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize