I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
