so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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