I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
