yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Randomize
