apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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