She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
