Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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