At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
