I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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