ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
