my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
be right there i have to get my cape
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
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