if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
do herpes really smell.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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