I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Randomize
