Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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