would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Randomize
