I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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