Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
