theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
