I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
