Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I faked an abortion last night.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I still have a little drunk in my system
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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