Barsexuality is the new black.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
