why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Randomize
