that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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