i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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