i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
